What You See is What You Eat.

Santa Monica is tough.  Just tough. There are not nearly enough good, decent, wholesome under $20 places here. It makes me mad. Every time something new opens up, I get super excited and think that maybe this is it! … but then each time (looking at you, Bar Pinxto), I leave sorely disappointed. Sore. Ly.

Riva just opened on 3rd and Wilshire. This is from the makers of Fraiche in Culver City, which I have heard great, great things about, but have not gotten around to going just yet. Early reports indicated that Riva’s pizzas were “phenomenal” to quote one Chowhounder who I will never trust again. (Edit: Someone on Chowhound points out that they can’t find this post. Me neither. I don’t know where it went, but I swear this is what I read.) Other reports kind of alluded to the entrees on the menu – whole organic chicken, quail, lamb, etc. I figured those would be really expensive, but if the pizzas were under $20 and good, then it might be worth it. More than one person said that the cocktails were great. So, in an ideal world, I was hoping for The Hungry Cat’s cocktails plus Mozza’s pizza, all under one roof. Too much to ask! Stupid.

Second day in its soft opening, and the front room was full of people in business outfits and ties and their hanger-on girlfriends/trophy wives in the highest of heels and the longest of hair extensions. This made me sad for those people.

We were led to the back area, as were another couple a few minutes later. They were pretty angry about this and insisted that they be given a new table in the main dining room so that everyone could see his tight pants and long boots and her tight pants and long boots. Us, we were pretty happy to get away from the scene.

Everything is expensive. Cocktails at $10-12; crudo and appetizers at $9-15; pizzas $13-17ish; entrees in the high 20s, low 30s, like a bad day on the East Coast. We were here for a cocktail and a pizza.

Cocktails – disappointingly, typical fancy-bar flavors. We ordered something with elderflower. This was $12.

This was not worth it. Our first reaction was, So small! But really, there is a lot of alcohol in here, so it’s not a total rip-off. It was probably the right amount for how it tasted – any more and it would have been an oversaturation of spirits and sweetness (from the elderflower, which was interesting in it of itself) (but not that interesting, you could just use lavender to get that same effect). That said, it was good, but not great, and certainly not outstanding. And for those of you who say, Oh, that’s just what a cocktail costs in this city – fine, true, but this doesn’t mean the bar gets a license to cop out. You pay $12 for your mediocre cocktails, I’m getting another pizza for this price.